Last night…I dreamt about him.
My beautiful lumber jack man.
He was perfection…until he fell deep into darkness.
We were happy.
I remember when I got sick, you brought me medicine from the clinic.
And said I needed to rest…to which to told me to sleep in your room so you could have a close eye on me.
When we fell asleep that night…you wrapped your arms around me, pulled me close to your chest and said your body heat would make me feel better.
And it did.
We woke up that morning in each others arms….I don’t think I was ever so happy….and safe.
You had class…but I convinced you to stay with me in bed for a little longer.
What we had was so beautiful.
I miss your arms.
Never was a hairy chest so sexy and comforting.
My lumber jack man
Your eyes were the most amazing things I have ever seen….the perfect mix of green and blue. A hint of brown.
Those days are gone and are nothing but memories.
Beautiful memories that I wish we’re still a reality.
I noticed that I have a problem:
In terms of life choices, Once I get information about something, I make a decision and then stick to it. I don’t ever regret it and I don’t think twice about it. Plus I am confident and comfortable with my decision.
But here’s the thing,
When it comes to my love life…. That’s a hot mess. I can never pick a decent guy….and if I date a super nice (as in he is always apologizing for silly things, always let’s me have my way, won’t argue with me, can take no for an answer and won’t question it. Pretty much a pussy [pardon my French] -not that there is anything wrong with that, I just can’t handle a guy who doesn’t have a personality) guy, I get bored.
If I date the “bad boy” it’s all fun and games in the beginning, but then they get bored of me and leave.
I just have really bad luck these days.
Here’s the thing:
There is this one guy….seems interested and all (plus he is a bit witty at times) but he is from a family of money. [and I may or may not be self conscious about my weight, he’s a VERY thin boy btw and possibly a virgin at that] and my friends are not making this any easier,
For some reason (and this might actually be the problem) if my friends have really strong negative feelings towards a guy, I automatically feel attracted to him. (Or at least MORE attracted)
Last time I had this issue, it was with Andy… And we all know how THAT ended….
When it comes down to boys…I am powerless.